Worry Jar – A Safe Way to Help Children Cope with Worries

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Children worry more often than we realise.School, friendships, family changes, new situations or everyday pressure can all create emotional tension that children don’t always know how to name or express.

One simple and supportive tool is the worry jar.It helps children organise their thoughts and emotions — without forcing them to share everything with adults.

What is a worry jar?

A worry jar is a simple jar, box or container where a child can “place” their worries.They can write them down, draw them or express them in any way that feels right, and then put them inside.

Symbolically, this sends an important message:

“I don’t have to carry everything in my head. I can put it down for a while.”

Importantly, a worry jar is not a tool for monitoring or checking a child’s thoughts.It is meant to be a private and safe space.

Why does a worry jar work?

A worry jar supports children by helping them to:

• notice and name emotions,

• create distance from worrying thoughts,

• reduce emotional and physical tension,

• feel a sense of control and agency,

• learn that worries can be “set aside” rather than suppressed.

Very often, simply writing or drawing a worry brings relief — even without talking about it.

Children’s privacy – the key to effectiveness

For a worry jar to truly help, a child needs to feel that:

• it belongs to them,

• their privacy is respected,

• they decide whether they want to share the contents with a parent or keep it to themselves.

A parent can gently offer support or conversation, but should never demand access to the jar.Trust is more important than knowing every thought a child has.

A worry jar works best when a child knows they are not being “checked on”.

How to make a worry jar at home

You will need:

• a jar or small box,

• paper notes or small cards,

• a pen, pencil or crayons,

• optionally: stickers, glitter or colourful markers.

Allowing the child to decorate the jar themselves strengthens their sense of ownership and safety.

How to use it

• the child adds worries whenever they feel the need,

• it can be used at any time of day,

• there is no obligation to discuss what’s inside,

• conversations happen only if the child chooses to,

• sometimes simply “placing” the worry in the jar is enough.

Supportive phrases parents can use include:

“If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here.”

In conclusion

A worry jar does not remove problems and does not replace therapy or conversation.What it does offer is a safe, child-led way to manage emotions in the moment, respecting the child’s boundaries and inner world.

This small ritual can become a meaningful tool — especially for sensitive, anxious or emotionally overwhelmed children.