Anger Needs an Outlet – How to Help a Child Release Aggression in a Safe Way

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Anger in children can be challenging — both for them and for the adults around them.Shouting, throwing objects, hitting or emotional outbursts often leave parents feeling helpless and tense. But it’s important to remember one thing: anger itself is not the problem.The problem arises when a child has no safe way to release it.

One of the simplest and most effective emotional regulation tools is… crumpling paper.

Why do children need to “release” anger?

Anger is an emotion that is strongly connected to the body.It often comes with muscle tension, faster breathing and physical agitation. When a child hears only:“Calm down,” “You’re not allowed to be angry,” “Stop it” — the tension doesn’t disappear.It stays in the body.

That’s why children need movement and action — something that allows the emotion to move through them instead of being blocked.

Crumpling paper – what is this method?

This is a very simple regulation exercise that can be used at home, in therapy or at school.

How to do it:

• give the child a few sheets of newspaper or paper,

• allow them to crumple, tear or squeeze it,

• they can make paper balls and throw them into a bin or against a wall,

• the exercise can be done quietly or with strong, audible breathing.

There is no need to explain or analyse anything during the activity.

What is important from the adult’s perspective?

During the exercise:

• do not correct the child,

• do not judge,

• do not say “calm down”,

• do not shame the emotion.

The adult’s role is to ensure safety, not to control the child’s emotions.

You might say:

“I can see there’s a lot of anger in your body. You can let it out safely here.”

Why does this work?

Crumpling paper:

• releases muscle tension,

• gives anger a safe outlet,

• helps the child regain a sense of control,

• reduces nervous system arousal,

• often leads to natural calming after the activity.

For many children, this is the first time they hear that anger is allowed to move — not be punished.

In conclusion

Anger does not have to damage relationships or lead to punishment.When a child is given a safe tool to release it, they learn that emotions are something they can cope with — without hurting themselves or others.

Sometimes, a few sheets of paper are enough to take an important step toward emotional regulation.