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“The ‘Naughty Child’? Understanding What’s Really Behind Difficult Behaviour”

  • Writer: Paulina Kotowska
    Paulina Kotowska
  • 8 hours ago
  • 3 min read
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Designed by Rawpixel

A behavioural disorder in a child refers to persistent difficulties with following social norms, rules, or expectations — challenges that can affect daily life at home, at school, or in the community.Symptoms may include aggression towards others, destruction of property, stealing, lying, or frequent rule-breaking.

Children with behavioural difficulties often struggle with impulse control and emotional regulation, which can lead to frequent conflicts with those around them.


For example, a child might regularly get into fights at school or refuse to follow teachers’ instructions, while at home they may often have angry outbursts.Such behaviours are not a sign of a “bad character” — they often stem from emotional struggles, family difficulties, or biological factors.Early psychological support is crucial to help the child understand their emotions and behaviour, and to teach them healthy ways of coping.


💛 How Parents Can Support a Child with Behavioural Difficulties


1. Spend time together

Dedicate a few minutes each day to your child and give them your full attention.Doing activities they enjoy strengthens your bond and builds emotional security and self-esteem.Remember – when a child doesn’t receive positive attention, they may seek it through negative behaviour.


2. Set clear expectations

Agree on a few clear and realistic rules — five to ten is enough.You can even make a list or poster together to refer to when discussing behaviour.Explain what happens when rules are followed and what happens when they’re broken.


3. Establish routines

Routine gives children a sense of safety and predictability.When they know what to expect, they feel more comfortable.Create daily rituals, like a calm morning routine before school, to avoid chaos.


4. Prioritise sleep

Children who don’t get enough sleep become tired, irritable, and find it hard to focus.Ensure your child gets enough rest and create a soothing bedtime routine — for example, a warm bath or reading together before bed.


5. Be consistent

Consistency is key.Stick to the rules you’ve agreed on, even when it’s difficult.This helps your child learn what’s acceptable.You can use small rewards, like stickers on a chart, for positive behaviour.


6. Focus on the behaviour, not the child

Instead of saying “You’re being naughty,” focus on the specific action:“That behaviour wasn’t okay, but you can try doing it differently next time — for example, by staying calm.”This helps the child understand that they are not bad, but that some behaviours need to change.


7. Stay calm and empathetic

When your child is upset, your reaction can either calm or escalate the situation.Rather than responding with anger, try to understand what lies beneath their emotions.You can say:

“I can see you’re upset. Maybe you don’t want to get dressed because you’d like to keep playing a bit longer?”This shows understanding and teaches emotional expression.

8. Give responsibilities

Children learn responsibility when they have small, achievable tasks at home.Simple chores like setting the table or feeding a pet help them feel valued and capable — and small rewards can reinforce their effort.


9. Use positive language

Instead of saying “Don’t run around the house!”, try:

“Let’s play a game where we move slowly like turtles.”This redirects energy into positive action without creating resistance.

10. Offer choices

Give your child a sense of control.Instead of ordering, offer options:

“If you don’t want to tidy up now, we can do it after lunch — but if you do it now, we’ll have time for a walk later.”Choice reduces resistance and helps build cooperation.

Supporting a child with behavioural challenges takes patience, understanding, and consistency — but every step towards calm communication and emotional awareness brings positive change.

 
 
 

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Paulina Kotowska

Therapy for Children and Young People – Peterborough

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