How to Talk to Your Child About Divorce – A Guide for Parents

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Talking to your child about separation is one of the most difficult moments in a parent’s life.Many parents postpone this conversation, hoping to protect their child from pain.However, silence and uncertainty can be even harder for a child to bear than the truth itself.Children can sense tension between parents – even when nothing is said aloud.That’s why it’s so important to approach this conversation with care, calm, and honesty.

Speak Together

If possible, both parents should take part in the conversation.Telling your child together shows that even though you’re separating, you still form a parenting team.You can say something like:

“We’ve decided to live in separate homes, but we both still love you very much.”

Such a message helps your child feel safe and reminds them that parental love doesn’t end with marriage.

Give Your Child the Right to Feel

Don’t expect your child to understand right away.They may cry, get angry, withdraw, or pretend nothing has happened.All these reactions are okay.You can say:

“I can see that you’re feeling sad. It’s completely natural to feel this way.”

These words give your child permission to express their emotions and show that they don’t have to act “brave.”

Choose the Right Time and Place

Pick a calm, unhurried moment – not before school or when you’re in a rush.Ideally, your child should be rested and in a familiar place, such as at home or in a favourite park.This helps them feel safe.

Avoid rushing. After the conversation, stay close – even if your child doesn’t want to talk.Your presence and warmth will matter more than any words.

What to Say to Your Child

Adapt your message to your child’s age and understanding:

• For a young child:“Daddy will live in a different house, but we’ll still play together.”

• For a school-age child:“It’s not your fault. We’ll still spend time together.”

• For a teenager:“You can tell us how you’d like things to be. Your opinion matters to us.”

In every version, the key elements are truth, calmness, and love.

What Happens Next?

After the conversation, don’t immediately ask, “How do you feel?”Give your child time.Shared play, a walk, or drawing emotions together are gentle ways to help them return to balance.

The most important thing is for your child to know that they’re not losing their parents — only the way the family looks is changing.

Based on: CRP EDU training materials (2025) and publications:Doka, J.K. Grief is a Journey. Charaktery Publishing, 2017;Zubrzycka, E. Surviving the Storm. GWP, 2021.