Bullying Is Not “Just Teasing” – How It Affects a Child’s Mental Health

Paulina Kotowska
Feb 9
2 min read

Many adults still see bullying as “just teasing” — something unpleasant but normal, a part of growing up. From a psychological perspective, however, bullying is a serious experience that can have a lasting impact on a child’s mental health.

What is bullying really?

Bullying is not a one-off argument or disagreement. It is defined by three key elements:

repetition – the behaviour happens again and again,
imbalance of power – one child has more social, emotional or physical power,
intent to harm – the goal is to humiliate, exclude or intimidate.

Bullying can be verbal, relational (exclusion, spreading rumours), physical or online (cyberbullying).

When “banter” becomes harmful

Adults often say: “It’s just a joke,” “children need to toughen up.”The problem is that what feels like a joke to one child may feel deeply hurtful to another.

If a child:

feels ashamed or frightened,
starts avoiding school or peers,
withdraws emotionally,

then the impact is real — regardless of how others label it.

Why don’t children speak up?

Many children do not tell adults about bullying. Common reasons include:

shame and self-blame,
fear that the situation will get worse,
lack of trust that adults will help,
fear of being labelled or singled out.

Some children try to cope alone, often at great emotional cost.

How does bullying affect mental health?

Long-term exposure to bullying may lead to:

low self-esteem,
anxiety and chronic stress,
depressive symptoms,
social withdrawal or aggressive behaviour,
difficulties with concentration and learning.

These are normal responses to ongoing emotional threat, not signs of weakness.

How can adults help?

The first step is taking the child’s experience seriously. Instead of minimising, it helps to:

listen without judgement,
name emotions,
seek professional support when needed.

Psychotherapy can provide a safe space where a child can process their experiences, rebuild confidence and regain a sense of safety.

This article is based on publicly available educational resources and research reports addressing the impact of bullying on children’s and young people’s mental health, including:

Anti-Bullying Alliance (ABA). (2020–2023). Mental Health and Bullying.
Anna Freud Centre & University College London. (2020). The impact of bullying on young people’s mental health.
World Health Organization. (2020). Guidelines on mental health promotion and prevention.
Smith, P. K., & Sharp, S. (1994). School Bullying: Insights and Perspectives. Routledge.
Olweus, D. (2013). Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do. Wiley-Blackwell.